gud gawd, im traped1

teh i meen the womn set the cat dooor to in only, and i cant get out. owur stuff is in boxes, and i feer im next. halp1 sos111


shed better post this wen she wakes up…


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The Woman is packing up our junk again. I’ve been quite happily spending my days with my Other People (and some evenings as well, as I have worn them down and they now invite me into their living room to chill with them), hence the lack of blob posts. Now I find that The Woman is once again putting everything in boxes, and I know from experience that this never leads to ANYTHING good or fun.

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Nothing to report. It’s rainy outside. The Woman laughs at me when I come in to dry off and then go back outside and then get pissed off because I’m wet, but whatever. She needs to respect the fact that a cat’s motives and reasoning are not to be questioned.

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Stealing My Thunder and Melting My Heart (but only a little)

Darn that Danny-cat; it’s no wonder the People call him “Little Bastard.”

NOTE TO DANNY: Mousing is MY thing, got it? You think you’re sooooo tough, with your claws and your dead mouse hanging out of your mouth as you strut down the street. Well, let me tell you something, kid: I was catching mice while you were still trying not to fly away on the giant kitten-ears you had (oh, I’ve heard the Women talking, and it sounds like you were even funnier looking then than you are now, Sucka!). And if you think you’ve got the mad, mad hunting skills, try doing it WITHOUT CLAWS. Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’ve cleared houses of mice with just my teeth and my puffy mitten-paws as tools. Little Bastard.


Last night the People all went out somewhere- I can only assume it was somewhere good, because they smelled like food when they came back. I was enjoying a nice snooze on the couch when The Woman, The Kid and The Baby came in, and darned if The Kid didn’t come right over, say “Jor-yee!” and give me a big, gentle hug. NOT that it made me re-think my spending time at the Other House… but it was kinda nice.

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My Secret Identity

A sort of long time ago (I can’t remember how many days- I don’t care that much) we came to this house from our old house. It’s good to be here because I can go outside here, and I couldn’t before. Now that I can actually go out and explore the outside, it’s less scary, and I’m actually not seeing and hearing things that The Woman says “aren’t there” as much as I used to. I think it’s better, even it The Woman says I’m less entertaining these days. I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, WOMAN!

The bad thing is that this is a MADhouse. There is a kidden here who’s not even mine, there’s The Woman and her two kiddens, there’s Other Woaman and Other Man, and Other Other Man, who Other Belongs to… and I have NO IDEA where The Man is, and it’s flea-ing me off*. I swear I almost had him enjoying the baffling amount of affection I was giving him.

Also, there are other animals here. There’s The Fat One, of course (Gus)- he came with me on the loud and scary trip here. But there’s Bruce, who’s a big baby; Danny, who is also called “Little Bastard” by the People; and Alex, this fluffy little thing that looks like a squirrel (but she’s not around much)- that’s the cats. Then there’s this dog, Raven (or Raymond, or something like that), who is not fit to be called a Dog, and I ignore him. Come to think of it, I ignore pretty much everyone around here. Even the People. I’m kind of mad at The Woman for whatever she did to The Man (did we leave him at the other house? She says he’s “the deh-poe”, but what the heck is THAT?!). Also, Other Kidden was rough with me a few times, and I have other, outside things to do, anyway.

As a matter of fact, I have an Outside Family. My Outside Family is a Woman and a Man who live on The Other Side of the Fence. They have a lovely, quiet back yard, which I occupy on a daily basis. I like to sit at their windows and look in, or stand up at the back door and yell for them to come out and pet me. They are far less distracted than The Woman is these days, what with her kidden and baby, and they seem to find me amusing (though I am NOT HERE FOR THEIR AMUSEMENT). Sometimes I help Put Out The Garbage, and sometimes I just hang out. It’s nice.

The Woman and the other ones (the kidden, the baby, and The Man, anyway) are still my family… but it’s nice to have somewhere else to go when all of the other People and Animals get to be too much. Like, say, every day.

The Woman says I’m still her Puss, though, and she gives me Much Love when I’m around. She makes sure I have the right kind of food so I don’t get sick, and I guess that’s nice. I just wish I could have my littler family back, with NO other animals (maybe The Fat One, to make the People happy), but be able to go Outside. Is that too much to ask?!!

For the time being, I will live my double life. Here, I am known as Charlie, the Formerly Strange Indoor Cat. In my other life, I am known as… well, also Charlie, but the Affectionate One. It’s like Superguy**, I tell you.


*Note from The Woman: I’m pretty sure he means “ticking me off.”

** Other Note from The Woman: Superman?

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I am perfect. And you are?

Welcome to my blob. I think it’s a blob… that’s what The Woman told me. I assume this is because I am required to sit here like a blob while I dictate to The Woman and she tappity-taps on the Computer. As she seems to be unwilling to expend the energy required to go to ANOTHER WEBSITE to write my Catster diary (lazy human!), I’ve convinced her to get me a blob here, where she writes her very boring Human Stuff. Believe me, my life is WAAAAAY more interesting than hers.

I’ll write here as time allows- if you’re lucky. I have a very busy schedule, you know. Sleeping, grooming, going out, coming in, staring at walls… it’s all very time-consuming.

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